What my head created on a rainy night // Personal Stuff
My dear,
I can't let you go even if that's the only thing that would make my heavy heart feel at ease again.
I'm a coward.
An egoist.
I can't let go of the attention you give me. I can't destroy the illusion my head created.
I wish I had never met you and perhaps someday I'll be strong enough to leave you.
But still I can't let go of the moments we shared. Our first night we spent. The movies we watched. The mornings we stood there still dizzy from all the drinks we had the night before and not trying to laugh while brushing our teeth.
But I am not myself anymore.
Where are you?
Are you lost again?
You not loving me sucks the life out of my straying soul.
You give me energy and as soon as your traces fade I am collapsing. I feel lost and it will be the death of me.
People say you're no good and I'm wondering whether they are right and even the fact that you're saying you're not using me won't stop me from believing that you do.
You say you like me but liking is not loving and I guess I'm the one who's losing the game over and over again.